I've been stagnant for the last week or two. The culprit for my idle frustration, I believe, is a multifaceted one. Getting into my personal details isn't the point, though. It's the upwelling of the frustration I want to focus on.
I'm finding compartmentalization difficult nowadays. It's like everything in my life swirls into one irreversible concoction. I can't pinpoint specific origins anymore, or limit aspects of my life to their own little boxes.
Part of this has got to be work from home. I have no physical separation between personal and professional, so even if I work 8 hours, I tend to feel in the same mode as I did before and do after.
The spillover is also exacerbated by the loosening of my schedule. I don't have a stated block of time for a specific class or a specific class for a semester block. Things in general are much more fluid and self-motivated, like I mentioned in my previous post.
I do like the freedom I get in this more integrated lifestyle. I can better transfer positive energy from one thing to another, compounding the impact and efficiency. When it's negative energy, though, the same properties of transfer and compounding apply. A canyon can form.
That's what I think happened with me over the last few weeks. I got bored and lethargic in one manner, then the feeling escaped confines and infected everything.
Oh well. I guess it's through these instances that you learn to pull yourself up off the ground and back on the horse. The flip side of the downward slide is that finding an inspiring motivation in one part of life can be the stimulus that rights the course for the rest of it too.
There's a double-edged blade out here. Got to use it the right way or that cut will sting.
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